How To Get Pregnant Fast: 6 Easy Tips

Pregnant

Obviously, these are not actual, genuine ways to get pregnant. The only way to do that is to have sex at the right time and cross your fingers the little swimmers find your giant egg. In my quest to have a baby of my own I have come across some ridiculous suggestions of how to speed the process up, here are some of my favourite how to get pregnant fast tips:

1. GET DRUNK!

This is one I hear all the time. Remember that scene in Friends when Phoebe’s brother suggests it? Well actual real people do it too. Even a friend of mine who is a Doctor said it to me. Just get drunk. Hell, it works for a lot of people right? You watch Jezza and they’re all like It was just one drunken mistake and now I’ve got triplets! Arseholes. Lucky, lucky arseholes.

2. RELAX!

Have you ever tried relaxing when someone’s telling you to relax? Yeah, it’s not easy. There’s life, rushing past, all you want to do is add another heartbeat into the mix before your biological clock runs out but don’t stress, worry not, just relax. Easy? I think not.

3. DON’T THINK ABOUT IT!

Connected to number two, the age old don’t think about it advice. I desperately want a baby, every time I have sex I know that there is a tiny possibility we could be making a baby. That is HARD to not think about! Yes it kills the mood slightly sometimes, and yes it would be lovely to be able to forget about it, but I can’t. Why don’t you stop thinking about how it would be lovely to fly like Superman, then maybe that will happen too.

4. HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME!

No, that’s just stupid. There are 3 – 5 days a month when conditions are perfect for making ze babies. Having sex the other 23+ days of your cycle will not increase your chances, so just shut up.

5. ABSTAIN FROM SEX!

On the flip side, some people recommend only have sex when you’re fertile. For me that would mean 3 days of sex followed by up to 44 days of no sex. That’s more days than in that crap film. Funnily enough, I love my husband and enjoy having sex with him, not just for the purpose of procreation. Abstain. Humph!

6. DIET & EXERCISE!

This one I’m going to be a little easier on. If you have a good diet and you regularly exercise then your body will much more closely resemble a temple than the fat bird camped outside KFC. However I have spent the past year on a strict diet & exercise regimen and, hold on, wait, oh yeah – no baby!

 

What are the other crazy old wive’s tales you’ve heard about how to get pregnant fast?

Unlucky! Try again.

Stress

If you’ve ever  had trouble trying to conceive you’ll know how I feel today. Each cycle you time the sex carefully, you eat well and abstain from alcohol after ovulation and you cross everything that this will be your lucky month. And you wait, and you wait, and then finally you cry, because once again this is not your lucky month.

I am unlucky with my periods. My cycle ranges between 35 – 48 days in length so if I’m going to be late, I have to wait until I’m really late. This month I got to day 39 and was feeling tired, sore boobs and a bit sick. I was bloated and started to get a few mild cramps. This happens every month, this is what PMS feels like for me. Yet every month I manage to convince myself that this time it feels different. Every little feeling I have, every food craving – could it be a sign? I learnt long ago not to Google every little thing. The internet convinces me I could be pregnant and then, when I’m not, I’m even more devastated. Losing on the scratchcard of life.

And now I have to wait again, I won’t be ovulating for three and a half more weeks! Seems so unfair I have to wait that long. My husband thinks I should start doing my BBT again just to be sure, usually I just go on cervical mucous (gross, huh?!) but that isn’t a foolproof system.

How do you cope each month when you’re struggling to conceive?

The Beginning

PIlls

All my life I’ve been rubbish with contraception. That’s not something any woman would usually admit to, but it’s true. I very rarely used condoms, always forgot to take the pill and just never really bothered worrying about it.

I got married in my late 20s and for the past two and a half years have been actively trying to conceive. My husband is nonchalant about the whole thing, he already has two kids you see.

I’m already a mum to a 6 year old, I just didn’t meet her during the first year of her life. I’m a good mum, but I don’t feel like other people see me as that. I feel like everyone – friends, family, in-laws – sees me as a step-mum. That’s not to say I want a baby just to prove them wrong, of course not, but that would be a bonus.

I want to be able to join in conversations with other mums about pregnancy, cravings, birth, nappies, sleepless nights – all the things I missed out on.

This isn’t something I feel I can discuss with anyone, people think I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t help how I feel, can I?

For now I’m going to do some housework, go to the kid’s singing recital and think about why I felt I needed to start this blog at all.

AJ. x